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  • Writer's pictureTanya Mann

The Road of Life can get a bit bumpy from time to time can't it? It's easy to feel that all is against you when this happens.

The Road of Life can get a bit bumpy from time to time can't it? It's easy to feel that all is against you when this happens.

But we simply can't allow ourselves to wallow in the "I guess I'm unlucky trap..."

Unless we want to stay there.

Do you?

Assuming you were yelling “NO NO NO, Tanya, I do not want to stay there,” (at least in your head, if not out loud) what can we do?

How do we remove our focus from something we don’t want, and focus on something we don’t already have? Especially if we are feeling stuck?

It is difficult, but not impossible to learn to re-focus, and look for the best bits of the situations in which we find ourselves and maybe even accept the challenge of learning to see things from different perspectives.

Over the years, I’ve been quite overwhelmed with kindness and little tokens from the Universe that, in spite of the odd hiccup, all will be well.

Here's the thing - if I had chosen to look at things in a different way, there are times when I could have spiralled into despair, particularly when life kicked me, especially when I was already down…

So how do we shift our mindset to look for the good?

How are you looking at things? Do you ever try those visual puzzles, you know the kind with numbers hidden the grid, or faces within another image? You look and look, you squint and see nothing BUT when you take a few steps back from the image you get some clarity?

Have a deep and honest look at what you are doing and what messages you are telling yourself. Perhaps you might not be attracting the sort of relationship you crave, achieving the body you desire, or making the money you want, but do watch out that you are not being too hard on yourself and telling the Universe that you actually want it that way. If you keep focussing on what you don’t want, you will repeat the lesson, again and again, until you learn to adjust your thinking. You will be given the situation in different forms until you change your patterns.

When you dwell in dark thoughts, you automatically lower your vibration and it becomes impossible to be optimistic. Because of this, you actually miss important cues and clues that play out all around you as your mind is concentrating on looking for all the wrong things.

Think of when you are playing sport or a board game, and you miss the vital move because you were concentrating almost too hard on NOT LOSING… instead, if you were in flow, your winning move happens almost as if you had nothing at all to do with it

“Where focus goes, energy flows,” says Tony Robbins the number one life coach on the planet, so he must know a thing or two. Choosing gratitude and appreciation over criticism and negativity leads to attracting more of the things you can appreciate and be grateful for. When you look in the mirror, do you see your beautiful smile or do you instantly notice how old you’re starting to look? If you focus on the positives, you’ll radiate confidence and be attractive to others.

Negativity is also pretty contagious. Have you ever been in a car with a grumpy person? It’s kind of catchy and pervading, isn’t it? Equally, if you are open and feeling good, someone having a fit of giggles will soon have you in stitches. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to limit your time around negative people, including yourself, so it’s definitely worth your while to turn your frown upside down.

Everything e v e r y t h i n g EVERYTHING is a choice. Even the way we choose to look at things.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” Viktor Frankl (author of Man’s Search For Meaning).

Take your focus away from where things have gone wrong and concentrate your energy on where they are going absolutely right. That's exactly where you want to be. Even if you are hanging onto a tiny nugget of one small thing, keep thinking of it, and allow it to mushroom into hope in your mind.

From time to time, we all need a bit of extra help with stress and anxiety treatment.

I have some useful tips and techniques to kick-start this process, but the first one I highly recommend to anyone who wants to embark on the journey back to Self-Love is this -

Pay attention to your Self-Talk. Speak to yourself as you would your best friend, or better still, your best friend’s five year old child (real or imaginary). Now, my lovely, now you’re talking…

Here’s a great reverse poem, written by Chanie Gorkin

Today was the absolute worst day ever

And don't try to convince me that

There's something good in every day

Because, when you take a closer look,

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don't last.

And it's not true that

It's all in the mind and heart


True happiness can be attained

Only if one's surroundings are good.

It's not true that good exists

I'm sure you can agree that

The reality


My attitude

It's all beyond my control

And you'll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a very good day.

Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,

And see what I really feel about my day.

There are some really great reverse poems you can find on the net, and they are a brilliant way of demonstrating how your thinking can sometimes be distilled into sentences… just a bunch of random words, causing your thoughts to develop into feelings, which can totally affect how you live your life. Scramble the words, re-arrange them and come to a very different view point, and more importantly, a much more comfortable piece of mind.

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